Updated: Oct 16, 2021
Have you ever wondered why the dark cloud sets in? Are you aware of what is getting you down? Yes - Fantastic, this is great news because you are probably suppressing your emotions. On a conscious level you are aware that your boundaries have been crossed, your needs have been overlooked or ignored, your values have been challenged. When you suppress your emotions you are actually suppressing your immune system and so you need to find a way to express as a way of relieving your internal pressure system. Something has got to give.
As a child you are taking feedback from your parents, your siblings, your carers and your behaviour will change until you learn what you need to do in order to get the outcome that you desire. If you do something and it feels good, the environment confirms that this behaviour is acceptable - then you will do more of that to get more of the warm fuzzy feelings. If you do something which generates a negative reaction then there will have been consequences. If you are being your true authentic self and you are not getting the reaction you need then you will learn to adapt your behaviour in order to get the attachment reaction that you desire - over time you are learning that it is not OK to be your true authentic self. At some point you may have the realisation that you have to sacrifice your authenticity in order to get the attachment and connection that you desire.
You learn to suppress your emotions because that was what was demanded of you in early childhood. Quickly you adapt to realise what you need to do in order to get more of this or less of that and even what you don't want to experience at all. Imagine if as a child you were sent to stand in the corner or you chose to hide in a closet until it felt safe to come out. Left alone you are left to suppress your emotions because you don't want to feel them, the disappointment, the shame or even anger. You have not learned how to express your emotions in a safe and calm way. Eventually you learn to never reveal your true self because when you did as a child you were not accepted.
In the short term, this could lead to bouts of depression however in the long term, life long suppression can lead to dementia. It is early days in epidemiological research however initial results are concluding that suppressing one’s emotions appears to be associated with an increased risk of developing dementia.
When you struggle to be in touch with what you are actually feeling you prevent yourself from enjoying an experience. Your priority becomes
How do I need to behave in order to be accepted?
Your primary goal is that of acceptance and so you choose to not do anything that will affect the relationships around you. Your decision is on how you choose to express this. Your conscious mind is always working overtime to ensure that you suppress your needs, allow others to overstep your boundaries and in turn seethe internally but never actually tell people how their behaviour makes you feel. You ensure that you subdue your own impulses and desires in order to be accepted, to fit in and to avoid rocking the boat.
So why now are you at work and attracting people and scenarios where your values are challenged and your boundaries are ignored. It is as if you are recreating your childhood experiences so that you are repeating the pattern and creating scenarios where your again suppress your emotions. Your internalised belief systems are shaping the lens through which you are viewing your experiences.
As you seek someone to rescue you and you live in hope, eventually that hope becomes despair as you find yourself stuck in this pattern again. Again you don't feel safe, your internalise your emotions and you start to seethe, retract from the experience and go quiet (because its safer to do that). This is actually your opportunity to do something different - this is the opportunity that you have been waiting for to consciously break the pattern. No-one is doing anything to you - you are suppressing your own emotions. Now is the time to tap into the somatic feelings in your body. What do you notice?
Is your throat bulging, is there a weight in your gut feeling like you have been kicked in the guts? Is your heart beating faster? Are you feeling your fists clenching? This is your opportunity to really feel your feelings. Become really aware of the sensations in your body. Gently allowing them to rise and fall. If you lean into them and it become too much then pull back. If you feel too dissociated from the feelings then gently move towards them. Find your own place where you are feeling discomfort. Remember this is just energy, a dark feeling energy, a heaviness. As you sit with the discomfort it may feel bigger at first, over time it will start to feel smaller - in time it will completely dissipate. As you begin to feel safe you will have an impulse to communicate your needs. Tell them to stop and not come any closer. Tell them that you were talking and you would like to finish what you started. Tell them that you feel disrespected.
The first time you do this it may feel uncomfortable. The second time you do this you will be gaining some confidence. The third time you will notice you have fewer body sensations making you feel nervous. When you reach the moment that you allowed yourself to have an emotion, feel an emotion and not be consumed by that emotion you are on the path to self expression.
Eventually you will feel safe to express your gut feeling even when this puts you in conflict with your environment. You have finally diminished the patterns from childhood, you have broadened your ability to feel emotions. Be gentle with yourself. Show yourself compassion. The adult you has built a relationship with the inner child and shown him/her/they that you have got their back, you are willing to take a stand for yourself. There is a part within you that loves you so much it is prepared to put you through great suffering to wake you up.
Your body is your friend, your home, your vehicle that will move you forward. The next time you are triggered metaphorically step back, take a deep breath and allow yourself to feel your emotions - the moment you consciously choose to stop suppressing your emotions is the day you choose to make a stand for you.
Marie is a qualified Master Practitioner and Teacher in Face Reading, Psychosomatic Therapy and NLP. With more than 15 years of experience, Marie brings a unique blend of skill and discernment into these untapped spiritual disciplines. Marie offers inspirational insights into your inner self and personal potential. Reach out to Marie via www.facereadingsydney.com.au
" My passion is to make a difference to people, empowering them to be their best. This can be achieved by increasing their self awareness,
and maintaining a bodymind balance."