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  • Writer's pictureMarie

Accept nuances and embrace context

Updated: Oct 16, 2021

We all have different ways that we do life - what motivates and inspires one person could create indifference in another. Some people see the world in black and white whereas those who see shades of colour are predominantly more open to possibilities. When I am working with clients I can identify the binary types quite clearly in their languaging - they respond in terms of good and bad, right and wrong and success and failure. Their inability to discern between the shades of grey leaves them with little space to navigate outside of the extremes.

The dictionary definition of nuance is

a subtle difference in or shade of meaning, expression, or sound

How willing are you to get into the depths of a situation - to ask the difficult questions - to challenge the status quo or to be willing to dig into the complexity of issues. Are you willing to look at the different interpretations on a situation to see the various perspectives or are you holding onto your model of the world unwilling to take an opportunity to examine subtle distinctions.

In a business context if you are the business expert then you will be looking at a problem through the lense of getting value for your investments and finding opportunities for profit, from an IT perspective you are looking to implement systems and identify automation, the risk person will be seeking avoidance and mitigations and legal will want to determine liability. We all have our own agendas in a situation and if you could view and understand the requirements of another then would that empower you to find more opportune solutions.

If you are ready to create your future on a different path than your past then its time for you to accept the nuances of situations and embrace context. Your choice of fun and pastimes in your 20's and 30's is potentially quite different to how you spend your spare time in your 40's. What responsibility looks like for a single person is different than a wife and mother or husband and father. Depending on the context of your situation if you want to make changes then it is time to reevaluate your thinking and your choices; see things in a new light and revise how you spend your time and money.

When it comes to money some people love to live on credit and have the best of everything and the latest technology on offer; whilst others save up their pennies and would never dream of spending what they don't have. The Stanford marshmallow experiment challenged children to not eat a marshmallow and if they could wait a certain period of time they would be rewarded with two marshmallows or they could feed their instant gratification and just eat the one in front of them. The results of the experiment showed that not thinking about a reward enhances the ability to delay gratification.

Subsequent follow up studies showed that preschool children who chose themselves to delay instant gratification became more competent adolescents and achieved better exam results As adults there was a visible difference in the brain. Those who delayed their gratification were more active in their prefrontal cortex (influencing attention and shows cognitive flexibility) and those who chose instant rewards were more active in their ventral striatum.

When you find yourself in a situation where you are in disagreement with another - can you find it within yourself to clarify the context, are you able to see and understand their viewpoint, can you be comfortable to be right and also see how they are right too? Just because you are right it does not make the other person wrong. The more quickly you can evaluate the nuances and clarify the distinctions - the better you will be able to collaborate and if there is no collaboration to be achieved then have confidence in yourself to go after what you believe to be true and just because another is right for the context of their situation and decision making it does not make you wrong - so don't make yourself wrong and don't let others make your wrong either.

When you learn to embrace the context of different situations the more painless it will be for you to accept nuances. Less frustration means an effortless way of being. Let go of the struggle to fight for your rights and allow, because it is in the allowing that you will find peace. Welcome some mystery into your life as you become more comfortable with the power of nuances.

Marie is a qualified Master Practitioner and Teacher in Face Reading, Psychosomatic Therapy and NLP. With more than 15 years of experience, Marie brings a unique blend of skill and discernment into these untapped spiritual disciplines. Marie offers inspirational insights into your inner self and personal potential. Reach out to Marie via

" My passion is to make a difference to people, empowering them to be their best. This can be achieved by increasing their self awareness,

and maintaining a bodymind balance."

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