Updated: Oct 16, 2021
Your car is the vehicle that gets you from A to B just like your body is your vehicle that drives you through life. When you are in touch with you body and moving very slowly each step is considered and you can feel your way through life. As you rush from one thing to another you are not really truly thinking clearly and so there will be some mistakes along the way (potentially).
Have you ever observed the behaviour of another and been shocked by their lack of morals, lack of empathy, being too open, being too secretive, not being considerate enough, being overly willing to accommodate, being too flexible or being too restrictive.
What shapes the way we behave is how we learned as a child to respond to things - part of the developmental stage is learning what works for us and what does not work for us as we learn how our behaviour gets responses from others. Do we learn not to trust others and become independent or do we rely on others for everything?
Psychosomatics is about the mindbody connection and modern medicine has chosen to separate the two and look at them through an individual lens. Behaviour is about the child and the environment and whereas some may tend not to look at the influences during upbringing modern research is getting a view that certain addictions are due to events that happened in childhood.
These days going to the Dr is more like a 30 minute wait for your 5 minute window to see the Dr and at the end the outcome will be medicine or tests and then the tests will result in medicine or operation. The reason for this is because the learnings of a doctor will always end in 1 of 3 things - you need a pill. we need to operate or it's all in your head.
I wondered why the Dr does not get curious and ask the 5 Why's? Its an iterative interrogative technique used to explore the cause-and-effect relationships underlying a particular problem. Each why helps you to determine the root cause of the problem or defect and each answer forms the basis of the next question - You just need to keep asking Why. This is how I discovered that studying medicine brings you down 1 of 2 paths - a Dr whereby you can become a specialist and forget the body is a wholly integrated connective system so you drill down until the answer is medicate or perform a procedure; or your become a medical researcher and you ask Why a lot and look for solutions by avoiding problems.
This is the reason I like to take a complete history with my clients so I start to identify the patterns of accidents and incidents and see how much the body talks. I learn a lot through identifying how things are occurring though my client has no conscious awareness of this. You see your history will become your life until you begin to consciously realise it.
Imagine if through childhood the repeated messages you heard was about making sure everyone else was OK, you develop an automatic regard for the needs of others whilst ignoring your own and such is the deep repetition of this you begin to create a rigid and compulsive identity whereby you are ingrained with your role of duty and responsibility. You develop a fear of disappointing others and eventually become unable to express how you really feel just because you want to fit in. These beliefs are naive and so it is going to take something quite profound for you to challenge your own beliefs.
Your response when you are scared tells me everything that I need to know about your childhood environment and what beliefs you may have developed, which in turn creates coping mechanisms and defence mechanisms. Your intensity reveals the inner tension revealed through the stiffness of how you hold your body. It can be identified where you have been nurtured versus where you have been neglected. When you are nurtured the brain develops in a healthy way, however where there has been some form of neglect the brain does not develop properly and under these circumstances you get distortions in your reality. The trauma response is not about what happened to you it points more to the fact that either you could not fight back or you could not get away and so when faced with similar circumstances as an adult, your defence mechanisms get triggered.
It is not like you were chased by a lion so your fight, fight, freeze or fawn response came from that, its simply how others treated you. It can be something so simple as body language, tone of voice, authenticity or integrity of another as well as the wholeness of the individual. When you find you are reacting to some of these its like the 2 year old has taken over the driving. One minute you are a normal mature adult, the next you are scared to talk and if you do manage to your voice is fearful and lacking confidence. Maybe you shut down and don't choose to speak as you retract from the conversation. Whilst you feel that you don't remember anything particularly specific of an event, your reaction to things shows up in your life every day. Are you reactive or despondent? Are you all in speaking a lot and asking questions or do you sit back and observe the room? Do you come out guns blazing ready for the fight and refusing the step down until you win?
Your body spends many times a day responding to unconscious beliefs and unexpressed emotions and the belief that you have created around that is what you had to adapt to, in order to survive childhood.
An invitation for a simple process you can do at the end of each day....
Where did I not say no today?
If you didn't you can be sure that your body did.
I invite you to ponder - What is the impact on you physically.
What is the impact on your relationship to others when you don't say no.
So be kind to yourself, be observant on self and see where you have handed the driving over to your 2 year old. Allow yourself to see what your needs are in this moment and give yourself permission to parent your inner child and learn new and different ways to do things. Retrain your brain and develop new pathways letting the old pathways disappear as you upgrade your beliefs to be a representation of your strong, confident, courageous self. Who you are now and who you give yourself permission to be.
Marie is a qualified Master Practitioner and Teacher in Face Reading, Psychosomatic Therapy and NLP. With more than 15 years of experience, Marie brings a unique blend of skill and discernment into these untapped spiritual disciplines. Marie offers inspirational insights into your inner self and personal potential. Reach out to Marie via www.facereadingsydney.com.au
" My passion is to make a difference to people, empowering them to be their best. This can be achieved by increasing their self awareness,
and maintaining a bodymind balance."